The Day the Bottom Fell Out

Anyone who read my previous post knows the metaphorical barrel I am referring to with this title. I have indeed reached the bottom.. and if not.. well then hell better make room for a new ruler, because my ass is on its way down!

This morning I was awake at 5 after only falling asleep shortly before 2am. Not a great start, but I’ve survived worse. Things quickly showed me just how bad this day was going to get though when I loaded my kittens into the car and began the 40 minute drive to the neuter clinic serenaded by the lovely tunes of howling and hissing, followed by a few deep scratches and a pretty nifty little tooth mark left in my hand.

Chin up though because this day was only getting started!

I left the clinic and after a few brief stops reached my destination, where I felt magical as a huge cloud of white steam heralded my arrival as though I was a wizard popping from the mist. But wait.. white steam? Oh hells no. You probably guessed by now, but if you haven’t, it was my radiator huffing and blowing and spewing green liquid all over the ground in grand fashion as though flipping me the bird from beyond.

By this point I was ready to tear my hair out in frustration when it hit me. My poor kittens were losing their man biscuits probably at that very moment, and would soon be expecting my insane ass to rescue them from kitty purgatory. The question was, how? They were 40 minutes away and though I love my friends.. counting on them in a crunch is laughable at best.

I spent the next hour or so frantically calling everyone on my BFF list and then was forced to move on to the section I keep wrapped in barbed wire with electric current running through, and a sticky note warning: enter at your own risk. After some voracious begging and pleading on my part, a ride was procured and I breathed a sigh of relief. That was my mistake.

It wasn’t more than 20 minutes later I discovered that my left wrist was immobile and in severe pain. How you may ask? Beats the heck out of me and I was there. Did I lean on it too vigorously? Did I frantically wave down a passing car in hopes of a ride to rescue my kittens from twig and berry prison? I honestly have no clue, but it could be fun trying to imagine all the different scenarios that befell me.

Instead I wrapped it in an ACE bandage and managed to keep my head down for the rest of the morning until it was time to pick up the boys who were missing their.. well.. boys. 😀

Little did I know some deranged drug dealer snuck into the clinic and fed my kitty children some kitty crack. I was expecting them to bow at my feet in everlasting fealty for their gallant rescue. Another mistake I had made this day. Instead they have been bouncing off the walls, refusing to be touched and patting at water bowls with their paws as though seeing some hallucination floating there that I as a mere human must be missing out on. Life is so not fair.. I want some kitty crack too.. it’s only right after the day I have survived.. don’t ya think? 😉

Now if I could just get some sleep, maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here alone, giggling like a psychotic loony, and contemplating watching this awesomely titled movie: Manborg. 😮

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18 thoughts on “The Day the Bottom Fell Out

  1. Are you Phoebe from ‘Friends’ by any chance? While I’m trying to decide whether to laugh of cry here mat I say this is a fine advertisement for Kitty Crack, you’ve sold me – perhaps Madison Ave. beckons…

  2. Wow. I am so sorry it has been such a weird day for you! You must’ve hurt your wrist wrangling the cats. Have you tried one of the over the counter sleep aids? Tylenol PM works for me. Good luck with the cats. Funny post by the way (giggle).

    • That actually could be it. Thankfully it seems a little less painful today. I have actually, and I find that they leave me feeling nauseous and icky the next day. I try to stay away from sleep aids as much as possible unless I just have no other avenue.

      Glad you liked it and got a giggle. 🙂

  3. Wow, what a day. Kind of working backwards so I can see the cats are doing better but hope your wrist gets better! Maybe you need a rabbit’s foot and a horseshoe above your door….

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