You So Sekksy

Online dating is all the rage these days, and I am sure there are droves of people out there who’ve claimed success with it, but I for one am a non-believer. Easy ladies.. I did not say Belieber. He’s a whole other bag of wormy issues I would suggest avoiding. πŸ˜€

My friend however, is not so fortunate. She came to the conclusion the guys she was meeting were jerks and totally obsessed with one thing. That one thing of course, was not her wonderful mind, but something baser. She decided to listen to all the well-meaning voices around her suggesting that she give online dating a shot, because after all, the guys would have to get to know her for her mind first right? -insert laugh here- Yeah.. right.

I warned her that it wouldn’t change anything, and that for all she knew she would be conversing with hairy old men, sitting naked in front of a laptop, and doing disgusting things with her pictures while scratching fondling their unmentionables. She insisted it couldn’t hurt and made a profile on a free online site known as OkCupid.

She was mistaken. Her sense of smugness over my being wrong barely lasted a day before the messages began pouring in. Her message box was filling up with choruses of “what’s up baby?” – “You so hot” – “wanna get high?” and other juicy morsels like “you so sekksy [sic]” and “we should make babbies [sic] together.”

After nearly peeing myself from laughing at her expense, I was pleased to offer her a big fat I told you so, before convulsing into maniacal laughter once more. She refused to answer any of the asinine messages and quickly learned that this venture was a bust and was considering closing the whole page down, when another little gem hit her inbox and after she shared it with me, I begged her to let me answer it. Seriously, I shit you not, I begged. It was too good not to be responded to by none other than yours truly. πŸ˜€ She gave me her password/login and I went to work.

Be forewarned that I use a wee bit of profanity and I talk as ghetto as he obviously thinks he is. πŸ™‚

I give you, for your amusement.. exhibit A:

location has been blurred for both his protection and hers, but I left his face and name on blast because.. well when you're this dumb.. you deserve all the recognition I can give you. :D

location has been blurred for both his protection and hers, but I left his face and name on blast because.. well when you’re this dumb.. you deserve all the recognition I can give you. πŸ˜€

For the record, she asked me to make sure it was understood she is NOT old, and in fact only 24, but hey.. I guess that’s a grandma to this handsome puffed up devil eh? πŸ˜€

I can’t help but wonder what his response will be to her.. but it’s probable that it won’t be in proper English and not very likely, that it will be nice, so I suggested she make use of the block key. She’s not good at listening though. If you’re reading this post, you know it’s true. πŸ˜›

So what do you think dear readers? Are you for or against online dating sites? What did you think of my response to him? Was I too harsh? πŸ˜€

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25 thoughts on “You So Sekksy

  1. Oh me and online dating have a history… but first, love your response! Not too harsh at all!

    Being a naturally shy guy I thought I would give online dating a try. It lead me to some basic conclusions about women and then I realized it was just basic things about people. What you are attracted too will be the same online as it is in real life, so in your friends case her odds of meeting someone like her past others is about the same.

    I’d always heard that women aren’t as superficial as men. Yeah… not true. Women are just as bad. Which leads me to believe people tend to be superficial.

    And finally I just plain suck at everything and am a lost cause. So yeah… short story long, online dating wasn’t for me.

    • First and foremost, you are too harsh on yourself. I have yet to see anything that you suck at, nor do I believe you are a lost cause. Don’t argue.. just take my word for it. πŸ˜‰ lol

      As to the rest of it, I agree. Women can be just as bad. The whole dating thing leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, which is why I choose to stay single. Too many bad memories involved in the whole “being with someone” thing for me.

  2. I’ve tried the online dating thing numerous times and won’t do it again. I attract the weirdos who want to buy me underwear and paint my toenails and ask me this within the first conversation. UGH. ~Gina

  3. I found this hysterically funny!! Never tried it….never want to. Especially after her experience. I am still giggling! Although, it might be nice to get a free pedicure out of it as long as said weirdo leaves immediately after! Hmmmmm….Nah….Yuck.

    ok…I have to admit….I am so out of pop culture that I had to look up Belieber. That is rather disturbing on many levels.

    Great post as always!!! Have a great weekend, Sweet Pea!!

  4. I don’t think you were harsh at all. He asked for it. Who does he think he’s impressing anyway? Ick. I am soooooooo glad I’ve been with my Hubby for 25 years and all that dating nonsense is well behind me. I would never do it again. I’d live alone first. I do have a good friend who met her husband through match.com. I met mine through a newspaper ad – back when the ads were still innocent and not twisty-perverted like they are today. πŸ™‚

    • You were both very lucky and you’re right, it was a different time. Today things are so out of hand, that I’d rather date a zombie because at least I know all he wanted from me was a bite or two. πŸ˜€

  5. LMAO! I got off OKCupid several months ago due to a perve sending me perve emails. He looked like Mr. Peepers. Ewww. I also recently ended my subscription to Match.com due to lack of viable candidates. It’s nice to go out and date and meet new people, but I think I might have better luck at the grocery store.

  6. I stopped using okc a few weeks ago after one too many awkward dates lol. My coworker showed me cliqie.com and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as β€œwingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

  7. Oh man, I major-league cringed just reading his barely-English message! He could’ve just thrown his Muscle Milk bottles at the keyboard and managed to hit random keys and have a more literate message than that.

    Kudos to you on a great reply to him!

    -Andrew

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