Why do people have such strong opinions on what others should do, but rarely follow their own advice?
That is the question on my mind this week.
I was talking to someone I have considered my BFF for a very long time, a couple of weeks ago. She and I have known each other since grade school. We don’t talk as often as we used to, and that is no ones’ fault. Just life, in general, taking its’ toll. We share an occasional text, or phone call, sometimes a good old fashioned snail mail letter, but that about covers it. The thing is though, I always thought I could count on her to support any decisions I made, or at least to talk them over politely with me and tell me as sweetly as possible that just maybe I was making a mistake. Never once, did I think one of these days she would have such a strong opinion about something I planned to do, that she didn’t agree with, or go overboard in her adamant belief that I was in the wrong.
In this particular situation, it was about single parenthood. My daughter, who is soon to turn 23, has decided that someday soon she would like to have a baby. By herself. No partner involved. Male or otherwise. Just single parenthood. I see nothing wrong with it. Sure, having two parents is supposed to be better for children and all, but how many times does it end up in fighting and divorce? Most times the kids witness this destructive behavior and it scars them for life. With single parenthood, there will be no fighting. No nasty divorce. Just unconditional love from one parent who is perfectly capable of playing both roles. A little something I know something about. I’ve been doing it for years.
My friend doesn’t agree. She not only disagrees, she got downright angry with me, told me off, and stopped talking to me for almost a week. She threw a condescending tone at me, said I was irresponsible for not trying to convince my daughter otherwise, and proceeded to rake me over the coals. Certainly not what I expected from someone whose own kids are certainly not the pillar of good behavior and whose husband is involved in illegal activities to get them the money they throw around on those same spoiled kids. Things I never once pointed out to her or made her feel bad over. Things I basically backed her up on, despite my own misgivings that I kept to myself. She wasn’t being a friend… she was being a fraud.
I spent over an hour fuming and pacing after that brief conversation with her. How dare she respond that way. Once I calmed down though, I couldn’t help but wonder why? Why do people think they have the right to judge? Are any of us saints? Pillars of society that have never done wrong? I think not. Yet given the opportunity, we always jump to cast the first stone. Is it human nature? Our need to make others as unhappy as we ourselves are?
What do you think? Why are people so quick to judge?